You Were Loved That Much

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A discarded headline, a byline, a whisper
your voices are barely audible
I strain my ears to hear your truth
I close my eyes sometimes too
I apologize for that. for refusing to see when it hurts
too much.

I wanted to reclaim ignorance
but everywhere I look I see your face
I see it and know that someone sets a plate of your favourite food out
at an empty space at the kitchen table
knowing that only your spirit can feast on it now
You are loved that much
to be prepared for and cooked for even in death

You were loved that much
long before your name was written on a placard
before candles were lit to your memory
before the world decided they would finally see you
You were loved that much

Even if you didn’t feel it
it was there
You could place hand to earth and feel the rumbling of something approaching in the distance
it was there
before death. before headlines and bylines and long-winded eulogies.
when the wind lost itself in the maze of your dark brown hair
when the sun kissed the back of your neck as it did your grandmother’s when they were little girls
and your toes greeted each grain of sand
and the blades of grass, they tickled your feet
it was there
You were loved that much.

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