Poem 375: rebuilding family & embracing nation

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They say that a family that prays together stays together
but what happens when the prayers are sparse
and the people have ticking time bombs for hearts
Threatening to explode
leaving chaos and crying in their wake
When the limbs of the family tree begin to break
and the wind uproots it whole
and everything going on around you feels like its out of your control
What happens then?
I don’t claim to know many things
of what is real and how this world truly works
but I know what it is like to be shut down
and I know what it is like to hurt
I know that parents parent with what they got to the best of their abilities
I know that sometimes it doesn’t amount to much
I know that my own parents tried to break some cycles
and some of them just wouldn’t take to breaking
I know that my son is lucky
to not have memories of me with whiskey breath
he was too young yet
for memory to cling to heart and make a home in his chest
I know that love for your children is a blessing
and not being able to be the best parent
can either shame you into an early grave
or the love can elevate you to a place where you can be saved
I know that it took me a while to learn how to rise
I know that I had to put my shame to the side
So I could be the best parent I could possibly be
I am still learning, in every day, every moment
And it is my son who is teaching me
We have had ravaged homes, experienced empty nests, and taken more losses than we can count
We have had every reason to throw in the towel
Experienced every treason to no longer engage
Every hurt and heartbreak
to remind us that we don’t have a place
but we have made it and we are still here
Let that sink in for a minute
We have made it, we are making it, we are still here
you are the answer to your ancestors prayers
you are their dreams manifested in flesh and in bone
you are where you belong, and in this nation you have a home
So maybe the house collapsed, maybe the tree fell down
maybe the cycle is stuck on repeat and the dog ran away
but maybe things had to fall apart
so you could build something new
Cause no one rebuilds the foundation if it doesn’t come unglued
Maybe the endings are just new beginnings
and you are right where you are meant to be
So take some power, some light and love
and grow something
“They tried to bury us and did not know we were seeds “


In spirit & love,

Helen K

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