Violence Isn’t Traditional

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Sometimes we taught them silence
to let the secrets stay upon their lips
Sometimes we taught them to look away
to forget and not bear witness

We showed them how

to play hide and seek

with historical afflictions

To pretend that the monsters from the closet
Didn’t escape.      Don’t exist.      Are not real.
Sometimes to protect our own wounds
we forced our daughters not to feel

The role of violence has sometimes been legitamized in our own homes, in our own communities, by the people we trust, know and sometimes love. Sometimes this is done unknowingly, sometimes silence and avoidance is the best coping mechanism that was learned in order to protect ourselves from our own trauma and pain. But the cycles have to stop somewhere, have to be broken, and things have to be voiced.

Violence isn’t Traditional.

Sexual Abuse is not a Rites of Passage.

Change needs to happen for ourselves and for the little girls and boys coming up after us.

Talk about violence. Talk about historical trauma and how people learned to deal with the pain (unhealthy and healthy ways). Talk about resiliency, about strength, about culture and about love. Talk about change.

Model peacefulness and loving kindness. Model seeking help and getting healing when you need it. Model love. Model healthy relationships and setting boundaries. Model being proud.

Live in a good way and be kind to one another.

If you can’t talk, model or live… then seek healing and learn. You are worthy of that and more.

In spirit,


Helen K

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